Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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