I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize