someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
