Too much gin, very little bucket
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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