it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
