I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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