I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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