WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
