Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
