I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
