She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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