who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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