Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
