I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
