Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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