he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
