i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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