My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
