Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
