You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i think i just lost a toe
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
