3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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