I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
