So drunk its hurt
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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