The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
