U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize