The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
