Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
