I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
