apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
