was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
