my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
