pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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