operation harelip BJ is a go
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize