the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
