oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
