you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
