Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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