...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
