You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
