carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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