I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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