mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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