Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's never too late to be topless.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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