Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
