Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
