Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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