a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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