I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
