You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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