I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
