addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
