Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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