this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
