can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
