Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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