I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
