if only i could text you this smell
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
