Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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