Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize