I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
