Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
