what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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