I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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