okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
