ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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