Michael Bay diarrhea
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
