thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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