how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
