Where is the hickey?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
