if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
